Take That and…who?

Ok, so in internet terms this is way, way, old (it was announced over two weeks ago), but, from the Pet Shop Boys site:

Take That announced today that Pet Shop Boys are to be very special guests on their Progress Live 2011 Tour.

Pet Shop Boys commented: “We are delighted to accept Take That’s invitation to be part of their Progress show and tour which is undoubtedly going to be one of the most exciting events of 2011. We look forward to every night being a huge celebration of pop music.”

Pet Shop Boys 40-minute set […]

So.

The biggest selling British duo in history.  A band who are almost unique in having combined commercial and critical success in the 80s, 90s, 00s, and 10s.  A group so internationally successful they can sell out gigs on every continent on the planet (except Antarctica, obviously).  A creative outfit so versatile they can co-headline Saturday night at the Glastonbury Festival and premier a ballet at Saddlers Wells within the space of a year.  The posh, white Englishmen who are respected in the American hip-hop community for being the first act to take a rap record to No. 1 in the Hot 100.  The gay synthpop duo who’ve garnered praise from obsessively heterosexual, overdrive-obsessed, heavy metal fans.

And they are the support act.

For a bunch of no-longer-pretty musical rentboys who started their career dressed in rhinestone-studded bondage gear prick-teasing the clientele of provincial gay nightclubs, and consolidated it as a sexless sexual fantasy for nervy teenage girls who loved hairless man/boy freaks almost as much as they loved chocolate.  A ‘band’ who play no instruments, didn’t even sing – allegedly – on their first album, and didn’t write their most memorable songs.

What. The. Fuck.

According to the press release, Jason Orange (the other-other-other one in Take That) murmured this when he heard the news:

They’re so talented; I thought they’d be above it and us.

You said it, sugar.  Also: they are.

I presume, like so many other dirty, tawdry things, this must, finally, come down to money; Take That must be offering some extraordinary share of the ticket receipts to make it worth the Pet Shop Boys’ while touring in a support slot for the first time in their career.  In which case I’m disappointed with the Boys, but still prepared to let them off the hook – on one condition.  Every night of the tour Neil Tenant has to announce “We’d like to dedicate this song to Take That,” before breaking into:

I love you – you pay my rent

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5 Responses to Take That and…who?

  1. lsnduck says:

    That is deeply upsetting. My instant reaction is similar to that I get when I see a big name actor doing a TV advert for a scummy little company: either they are broke or they really need a better agent.

  2. Kapitano says:

    It’s odd how we think of the support act as…the one being supported.

    We seem to think the support act is the one riding on the coat tails of the main act, who’ve agreed to use their fame to give an audience to a band who could use it. But there’s no god-given reason why it has to work like that – and I don’t think it always does.

    Sometimes the support act are an established band who want to go on tour, but don’t want to put on a full concert – a half hour set is good enough, and enough of a draw to their own fans that the ‘main’ act gets additional audience.

    In the case of PSB and Take That, they’re both established, with different but overlapping fanbases (teen girls and gay men, heh). Each could support the other, but in this case Take That probably have a new album or something to promote, and the Boys are happy to take it relatively easy.

  3. aethelreadtheunread says:

    Thanks for the comments.

    lsnduck – I know what you mean about the actors. The one that always gets me is Stephen Fry; a multimillionaire with no dependents, no shortage of legitimate work, and still guaranteed to advertise any old shit. At least (so far as I know…) PSB are yet to license any of their songs for adverts. Nice to know you’re still around and about, btw!

    Kapitano – You’re right, PSB certainly aren’t in need of TT’s help (and are unlikely, I’d think, to get any new fans out of the tour). No doubt the actual billing for PSB – ‘very special guests’ – is designed to do away with the stigma of being labelled the support act, even though that’s what they are. The tour was pretty much sold out before PSB were announced, but quite a few of the ‘extra dates added by popular demand’ are still available, so I guess the hope may be that the PSB bring in enough extra people that TT don’t have to do the humilliating thing of announcing extra dates and then having to cancel them. Nice to see you around, too!

  4. Shaz says:

    Not being a teenage girl or a gay man, I’m hardly the arbiter of cool … but I own a PSB album and have absolutely no urge to “take that”. :)

  5. beetrootsoup says:

    Hahahaha Aethelread. PSB’s supporting Take That. It kinda says it all. Zoe X

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