I can’t really blame weather forecasters for getting excited when there’s some out-of-the-ordinary weather on the way. They know it’s one of the few times when people actually sit still and pay attention to their broadcast, as opposed to them just burbling away in the background while the kettle boils. And I’m sure the people who apply to work on the BBC contract are the most…extrovert, shall we say, of the Met Office’s employees, the ones who are most interested in showmanship, and achieving the kind of low-grade fame enjoyed by Michael Fish and Iain McCaskill. (Although, in this multi-channel age, the possibilities for fame amongst weather forecasters is not what it once was; Spitting Image used to spend as much time sending up McCaskill as they did satirising the prime minister, and that’s something we won’t see again.)
Despite all that, I did have to laugh at the start of the forecast after last night’s 10 o’ Clock News. I can’t entirely remember who it was, but I have a feeling it might have been Rob McElwee, pronouncing in a doom-laden tone of voice more suited to announcing the reawakening of the Dark Lord Sauron that “Something is stirring above the ice-fields of Greenland…”
I mean, come on. We’re going to have sub-zero temperatures for a bit, certainly. It will probably snow in quite a few places. The wind will be a little parky, no doubt. If you went and stood stark naked at the bottom of your garden in the worst of it all, I’m sure you’d come to regret it fairly rapidly. But the doom-laden fear-mongering is really quite silly, and more appropriate to the Daily Express than the BBC.
Although, thanks to that Lord of the Rings reference, I now have a mental image of McElwee (if it was him) standing at Cape Wrath carrying a staff and, with the wind tearing through his long grey beard and hair, crying out to the clouds above “You! Shall! Not! Pass!!”…
In other news, I currently have to:
- Phone my ISP for a MAC number so I can shift to BE (I’ve decided to go with BE, btw – thanks to all the people who left advice and reassurance on the last post). My current ISP is closing down mid-way through January, and with probable christmas/ weather-related delays in courier deliveries (for the router), I really do need to get down to this if I’m not going to be left high and dry, internet-wise.
- Do my christmas cards. I’ve cut the number as small as I can (not a big fan of the whole celebrating thing) but that’s still 10 to do, and a couple of them (to elderly relatives/ friends of my mum) ought to have a short letter put in with them. As with the router, I really do need to get down to this because of potential weather delays in the post – some of the recipients live in lonely cottages at the far end of lengthy stretches of single-track roads in the arse-end of nowhere.
- Do all my christmas shopping.
- Sort out some financial things that are really quite urgent.
And so, what am I doing? Avoiding all that like it’s radioactive and writing silly little blog posts about weather forecasts instead. It’s pathetic. But this is what happens when the need to do things coincides with the time of year when I basically want to hibernate. Or, to be fair, any time when I want to just hide under the duvet and tell the world to fuck off, which is pretty much all the time.
Still freaking out about having the router delivered, too.
Like Homer said: