Some things going wrong, something’s going right

You know something’s going wrong with your eating patterns when you find yourself struggling to make room in the freezer for a new frozen ready meal because of all the old ones you never got round to eating, having decided just to have a cup of tea and some chocolate instead.

You know something’s going wrong with your sleeping patterns when you find yourself turning on your bedroom light to get undressed for what feels to you like an early evening bath and realise that, to anyone watching outside, it’ll look like you’re going to bed after catching the late news.

You suspect something may be going right with your deductive abilities when you connect your inability to feel like eating proper food with the fact that you’ve been facing the prospect of eating at about midnight.  So, ready meal (Morrison’s own brand Vegetable Balti) is currently in the oven about an hour earlier than I would usually think of putting it in, and hopefully it will be nice.  I have my doubts, since it contains aubergine.  Or, as the Americans call it, eggplant.  Or, as I call it, that deeply unpleasant vegetable that has the taste and texture of a Haemorrhoid from the very Arse of Satan.

Not a fan of aubergine/ eggplant, in case you were wondering.

In other news, and in an attempt to stitch myself back together, I took myself on A Long Walk this afternoon/ early evening.  It all felt very autumnal.  Rivers in spate were flowing fast and filling the world with the glorious sound of rushing water.  (My fourth favourite noise, after: (3) the sound of dry wood crackling in a bonfire; (2) the sound of a heavy sea breaking on a sandy beach; and (1) the glugging sound you get when you pour the first glass of wine from a fresh bottle.  That beautiful, delicious sound, that goes together with the solitary drop of wine that runs down the outside of the glass which you catch by running your finger upwards to meet it, and then you lick your finger, and though the drop is only tiny, still your mouth is full of the heavy, rich, intoxicating taste of Cabernet Sauvignon…)

Bugger.  Now I want to get drunk.  But I will be good.

Where was I?  Oh, yes:

In other news, and in an attempt to stitch myself back together, I took myself on A Long Walk this afternoon/ early evening.  It was all very autumnal.  Rivers in spate were flowing fast and filling the world with the glorious sound of rushing water.  The wind was tossing the tress and making everything feel so wonderfully big.  Squirrels were scampering around, gathering up the beech nuts that fell from the trees.  I could have done with it a mite colder, but still, it worked; I felt a lot better for those 4 hours I was out and about, and I still feel some benefit now.

I know I’ve written here about there being a seasonal aspect to my moods, and that I feel worse in the winter.  That’s true, I think (it’s been true; I hope it doesn’t happen this year), but still and all, I love the autumn.  I love the spring, too, I like the seasons when you can feel the change, summer and winter are a problem because they’re full of the same old same old.  But, still, I love the autumn best.  I love that it connects me to my inner 7-year-old, the part of me that puts on a blue coat with a ridiculous hood and yellow boots that used to belong to my sister and goes stomp stomp stomp through the puddles, and down to the river that rushes and rushes and goes all the way to the sea and never, ever stops.

Sorry for this being all over everywhere, but I did warn you I was going to post more of this stuff, and less (fewer? yes, fewer, I think) fewer of the exquisitely dull posts about how everyone in the entire universe apart from me is wrong.

And it feels GOOD when my mood’s on the up like this.  Sometimes it even lasts for whole minutes at a time.

Right, been writing this for a while now.  Wish me luck as I brave devilled devil’s haemorrhoids…

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8 Responses to Some things going wrong, something’s going right

  1. Kapitano says:

    Eggplant is Aubergine? Well, I’ve learned something new today. So the actor René Auberjonois has name meaning Born-Again of the Eggplant. Or Born-Again of Satan’s Arse Haemorrhoid.

    I had a dietary idea last night. If I’m to sit up all night doing technical stuff with tea a biscuits, they don’t absolutely have to be chocolate biscuits. They could be fruity ones instead. That is today’s contribution to Kapitano’s Healthy Lifestyle.

  2. J. Wibble says:

    I share your dislike of aubergine, though I share the love of the sound of crackling wood. However, the glugging noise of wine is the least pleasant part of the process, far inferior to the uncorking (we can be good together; I’m telling myself the wine in the cupboard is for Shabbat and not for necking in the middle of the night). Enjoy the autumn, and the puddles.

  3. Mike says:

    Also, like all nightshades, eggplant is full of nicotine. Yet another reason to hate it! I love the fall too: the brisk weather, the change, and also the colors. Your words evoked a lot of emotions. Sadly, living in San Francisco I don’t get a fall anymore: it goes right from being foggy and cold in the summer to mild and sunny in the fall to rainy in the winter.

  4. aethelreadtheunread says:

    Thanks, everyone, for the comments – they’re really appreciated. :o)

  5. notpollyanna says:

    Why oh why would you get ready meals full of eggplant if you hate it so? You are a real grown up! You can eat whatever you like! I agree with you about eggplant being the flesh of Satan. My introduction to it was a roasted vegetable sandwich that was inexplicably disgusting. I love vegetables! When I discovered that it contained eggplant, something I had never eaten, I discovered the fact that eggplant is the flesh of Satan.

  6. Glad things are on the up and this is a good season for you.

    I don’t actually mind aubergine! If it’s suitably cooked down in ratatouille or something it’s fine.

  7. Katherine says:

    Love the autumn, too, and know what you mean about preferring the changing seasons. F. Scott Fitzgerald put it: “What is summer but the unfulfilled promise of spring?” (Think that was in This Side of Paradise but not entirely sure).

  8. Louise says:

    very exotic

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