…from what they throw out.
On Saturday my immediate next door neighbours had a large, empty cardboard box outside their door. It was for a 42” TV. Yes, I did say 42 inch. This is, obviously, stupidly large, but it’s particularly stupidly large given the size of the rooms in these flats. There’s just no way they’re going to be able to get far enough away from the screen to be able to take it all in at once. Watching TV is going to be like sitting too close to the front in the cinema – they’re going to have to actually turn their heads to follow conversations. Personally, that would drive me mad in approximately 0.25 seconds. Of course, I may be motivated by jealousy here, given that I have only a 15-year old 12” portable with a malfunctioning tube that means everything has a pink cast, apart from when the set’s been on for a couple of hours, and it starts to look like it’s filling up with a green mist.
Anyway, one of the things I know about my neighbours is that they have enough money (and a sufficient lack of sense) to buy a 42” Sony TV. I also know that they have quite a cluttered flat, because shortly after they’d got rid of the empty TV box, they had to put a couple of bulky items out on the landing, either because they were throwing them out to make room for the TV, or possibly because they were re-arranging things to find room for it all.
And what were these large, bulky items that my neighbours considered to be of lesser importance than a massive new television? An exercise bike, and a weightlifting bench with weights. ‘Sod getting fit,’ they’d obviously thought. ‘From now on we’re going to spend our time sitting on our arses in front of the telly.’
It’s like The Simpsons, but in real life.
Also, they are less yellow.
Also, I am not Ned Flanders.