This week I ‘ave bin mostly eatin’…

…crap, pretty much.

Last Friday I was whimpering away to myself (well, and to you too, actually) about how I was feeling very lacking in energy, and was experiencing waves of nausea.  I have come to the conclusion that this may not be unconnected to my diet over the last little while:

  • Monday 16.03.09 – 6x Fishfingers, boiled new potatoes, baked beans.
  • Sunday 15.03.09 – 3x Baked potatoes, with baked beans.
  • Saturday 14.03.09 – Boiled white rice, with frozen peas, tinned sweetcorn, tinned sliced green beans, pine nuts and cashew nuts stirred in.  (I have named this dish ‘Seriously Lazy Stab At A Sort-of Vaguely Risotto-ish Type Thing’…)
  • Friday 13.03.09 – 2x sausages, oven chips, baked beans.
  • Thursday 12.03.09 – oven chips.
  • Wednesday 11.03.09 – 2x sausages, boiled new potatoes, baked beans.
  • Tuesday 10.03.09 – 2x ‘southern style’ quorn burgers, boiled new potatoes, frozen peas.

In addition to these main meals each day’s diet has included 1x banana, 1x ‘A to Z’ multivitamin & mineral pill (this is the only reason I don’t have scurvy, anaemia, rickets etc), 1x packet of ready-salted Hula Hoops, at least 4x pints of Blackcurrant & Apple Squash, at least 3x mugs of Rooibos tea with 2 sugars and skimmed milk (I mean, full-fat milk would be unhealthy…), and repeated grazings from a selection of Mini Rolls, assorted varieties of biscuit, Mr Kipling Almond Slices, mint Aeros, Snickers, Mars and Bounty bars.

I’m no nutritionist, but I’m guessing this diet is unlikely to win any awards in a healthy eating competition:

  • Fat content = Fail
  • Sugar content = Mega Fail
  • Salt content = Fail
  • Fibre content = Fail
  • 5x portions of fresh fruit & veg per day = Mega Fail

Of course, if you were hoping for obesity, coronary heart disease, high blood pressure, type II diabetes, assorted flavours of cancer and early death, then this diet = Mega Win.  It’s not so much a diet as an exceptionally slow suicide attempt.

I should probably be worrying about the salt content most, as I have fairly high blood pressure at the best of times, and ought to be having 6-monthly checks with the nurse at my GP’s surgery, although, of course, I’m not.  Waiting room with sick people in it + medical test that may reveal bad news + possibility of being prescribed yet more medication = Aethelread hiding in flat saying ‘Waah!  Don’t wanna!  Don’t wanna go see nasty nurse!  Nasty nurse probubry smells of poo anyway!’  Also, depression makes it very hard to be motivated to care about things like monitoring physical health problems.  I mean, the worst thing that could happen is death, and as far as I’m concerned that would just be an opportunity for a nice lie-down and a bit of a rest.*

Anyway, the galloping depression and clouds of anxiety that are causing all these problems are probably a little beyond my ability to fix right now, but I can make a stab at some other things.  I’ve already stepped-up my exercise regime – I walked for about 5 miles yesterday, and about 3 today.  (Why, yes, my legs are killing me, how ever did you guess?)  The next most obvious thing to do is to improve my diet, but I have to be honest the inspiration and motivation for that is running exceptionally thin at the moment.

And that’s where this blog post has come in.  I’m hoping that seeing it set out in black & white in public like this will motivate me to actually do something about it.  I mean, I’m no lover of Gillian McKeith, but I guess this is a kind of virtual equivalent of the ‘before’ table in her revolting excuse for a TV programme.  (You know, the one that’s aimed at rich young professionals, and gives them the chance to express sneering contempt for people who buy their groceries at Iceland, while telling each other that the hand-cured organic Parma ham from Waitrose is really very good value at only £947.50 a pound, and goes perfectly with a sun-dried tomato & fresh basil ciabatta, and that £45 bottle of ‘plonk’ from Odbins…)  I’m not promising there will ever be an ‘after’ table, although, if there is, I can categorically assure you it won’t have any mung beans or wheatgrass-and-pond-algae smoothies on it.  But, you never know, I might manage to eat something with actual food in it at some point.

…er… this post seems to have come to a very abrupt stop, doesn’t it?  Must be time for some disgustingly sweet tea and a small mountain of chocolate…

 

* – Note to born worriers – wishing for death does not equal suicidal thoughts.  I’m fine, and will be moping around this mangy old blog for decades to come.  You don’t get shot of me that easily, I’m afraid…

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10 Responses to This week I ‘ave bin mostly eatin’…

  1. la says:

    After eating an almost entirely Dairy Milk based diet last week, I made a spinach and flageolet bean salad for dinner today and also ate two *whole* nectarines! And now I’m going to shake up some seeds, nuts, dried fruit and oats to make my own museli for tomorrow’s breakfast.

    Let’s get healthy!

  2. NiroZ says:

    I would like to eat unhealthy, but its so bloody expensive. Not to mention that there are some really nice meals out there that make me want to eat them.

  3. Katherine says:

    Oatmeal. Even when I’m depressed I can manage it and it does well in the high fiber, low fat department.
    Unless, of course, you put as much sugar in it as I do.

  4. Alex says:

    Sounds a lot like my diet at the moment. I don’t really have the desire to change mine, though – I prefer the Charlton Heston approach; they’ll get my chocolate when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.
    Still, more power to you if you manage to eat healthily, it’d be a greater display of willpower than I could ever manage in that regard.
    Also, Gillian McKeith is a bad person.
    Hope you’re feeling better lately.

  5. Lucy McGough says:

    Hurray for eating healthily!

  6. No Other Medicine says:

    My doctors played a nasty trick on me and gave me new medication that makes everything that isn’t salad tastes like talcumpowder. Forced to be healthy, yuk!

  7. aethelreadtheunread says:

    Thanks for the comments.

    la – i am suitably impressed with your uber-healthy spinach and flageolet bean salad. Uncooked veggies are rather out of the equation for me at the moment – i’ve become paranoid about catching something nasty from anthing that’s uncooked. But there is a lot of room for improvement in terms of cooked veg, of course. Oh, and i hope you enjoyed your museli too. :o)

    NiroZ – i often think life would be a lot simpler if all food smelled and tasted like cardboard. That way i wouldn’t feel the temptation to go for, let’s say, a hundredweight of chocolate rather than a stick of celery and some cherry tomatoes… ;o)

    Katherine – oatmeal is a good suggestion. I used to eat a bowl of porrige for breakfast every day. Pathetically, what stopped me was the sheer laziness of not wanting to wash up the saucepan. But i should be able to overcome that, and i do, basically, like it (once it’s suitably soused in milk and sugar, naturally…) ;o)

    Alex – strangely enough, willpower isn’t the thing i’m most likely to credit myself with when i rip open my gazillionth bar of chocolate for the day… ;o) The other thing is that i do, other things being equal, enjoy cooking, so there are rewards involved in making a nice curry, or something. Thanks for the kind wishes!

    Lucy McGough – hurrah, indeed! Now all i need to do is actually start eating healthily… ;o)

    No Other Medicine – that’s just mean. I hope you kicked up a fuss and asked for the other medication that makes everything taste like chocolate… ;o)

  8. cellar_door says:

    Well even if your diet isn’t directly influencing your mood, taking some steps to improve it will probably make you feel a tad better about yourself…I usually feel less crap if I manage to reduce my crap intake. For the whole day it lasts, anyway :o)

    And reading your list, it sounds very much like how I used to live only with more veg! Stick some salad on your baked potatos and get some more varieties of the tinned veg….I’m sure the almond slices are practically a fruit too. They have a layer of jam!

  9. bluesilk says:

    Hi,
    I work by the principle that I can’t be expected to eat only healthy food (time consuming and no immediate sugar rush pay off) while I feel like crap.

    However I also know that if I don’t include a quota of mood-friendly food I will worry I’m making my depression worse. So I’ll eat some veg rice and then have chocolate. And crisps. And tea. And wine.

    I’m not perfect. Working on it ;)

    ps I like cellar door’s vision of almond slices as fruit, lol.

  10. beetrootsoup says:

    As suicide attempts go, an unhealthy diet is just too slow for me. I would give myself hell for essentially making myself ill by self-neglect. And I absolutely hate being ill at the best of times.

    Your diet indicates quite a lot of steps in the right direction. At least you know what to do about the rest. And Gillian McKeith is a rat-faced cow. If you are what you eat, sorry but she just ain’t a good advert for her ghastly recommendations.

    So glad to know that you are going to be around for a long time to come A. That’s fighting talk. Love, Zoe xxx

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