Oh look, Aethelread’s doing a post that isn’t full of self-indulgent navel-gazing, or pseudo-intellectual nonsense. Hurrah!
On the down side, this is a post that is perhaps unlikely to appeal to my straight male and gay female readers. Or at least, only in a ‘that guy’s really weird’ kind of way. Which is, to be honest, probably what you all think already, anyway.
First things first, I want to doff my virtual hat to Cellar Door from the Not Another Student Nurse blog, whose idea I’m totally ripping off for this post. They say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, in which case she should be feeling pretty bloody flattered about now. Second things second, you should only persevere with this post if you are prepared to cope with the full horror of looking at pictures of guys I think are attractive, some of who aren’t wearing very much. You have been warned…
I guess I would have to say that, from the neck down, this guy has pretty much the perfect body,
and, facially, they don’t come much prettier than this,
but there’s no getting away from the fact that, personally speaking, I find guys like this way more attractive:
In fact, this guy is pretty much my ideal man – a slightly effeminate geek.
Anyway, I ask you to bear that in mind as I present to you my run-down of guys that are perhaps not conventionally good looking, but in my eyes are all the more attractive because of it.
First up, at No. 5, it’s Cuban-American actor Guillermo Diaz:
Guillermo Diaz is in one way extremely annoying – it’s impossible to track down a good photo of him. Partly that’s because he shares his name with a basketball player, which means that every time you think you’ve tracked down a decent size pic of him, it turns out to be of the wrong Guillermo Diaz. (There’s actually four ‘famous’ Guillermo Diazs altogether, but the other two don’t seem to have their photo taken all that often.) But the other reason is that he’s one of those people who just doesn’t look good in photos.
In every other way, he’s pretty much perfect. When he’s in full swing acting away (I especially recommend Just One Time and I Think I Do, but only if you’re a fan of mindless froth) he’s pretty much irresistible. Even if he does seem to have an unusually long and pointy tongue…
Next, at No. 4, it’s Mike Skinner (aka that bloke who calls himself The Streets):
Mr Skinner is one of only two straight guys on my list – that’s not a deliberate policy, but it would seem that I do tend to get crushes on gay guys more easily than I do straight guys. I know that I could be accused of only fancying him as a bit of rough, but really it’s not like that. In fact, it’s pretty much the opposite – I think of him more as a vulnerable little lamb who needs protecting than I do a rough-and-ready fuck-buddy. I mean, look at those eyes,
who could resist those eyes…?
…sorry…where was I? Ah, yes, of course…
At No. 3 it’s the actor Russell Tovey who, unlike Mike Skinner, is someone even the most middle class person would feel comfortable taking home to meet their parents.
Russell Tovey’s big break was his appearance in The History Boys, but if I’m honest, the first thing I saw him in was the second series of Annually Retentive, where he played a gay person that the lead character (an alt-version of Rob Brydon) was simultaneously attracted to and repelled by. Most of his scenes were semi-improvised, and in the sections where he’s trying not to crack-up at something Rob Brydon’s said he’s almost unbearably cute. Some kind person has uploaded his entire storyline in 15 parts to YouTube, starting here, so you can check it out if you want to. Even if you’re not a fan of male cuteness, you might think it’s worth watching for the fact that it’s quite funny, in a Curb Your Enthusiasm/ The Office kind of a way.
(BTW, Mr Tovey can currently be seen getting his kit off on a fairly regular basis in the comedy drama Being Human on BBC3…)
Ok, so, it’s time to move on to my No. 2, Professor Brian Cox.
Brian Cox is a professor of physics at Manchester University, although he works at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN. He also presents physics programmes on the BBC, most recently a Horizon documentary exploring the nature of time. He featured fairly heavily in the media last year, talking about the LHC, and why we shouldn’t worry about it causing the end of the world.
At this point in any profile of Brian Cox, it’s against the law not to mention that he’s also a former member of the 1990s dance-pop band D:Ream. As far as I can tell he wasn’t actually in the band when they were having their hits – certainly there doesn’t seem to be any video or photographic evidence of it. Given the rather unfortunate New Labour connection (the footage of Neil Kinnock and John Prescott trying to dance to ‘Things Can Only Get Better’ has scarred me for life…) that’s probably no bad thing.
Away back near the start of this perve-fest, I said that my ideal man would be a slightly effeminate geek. I don’t think there can be any doubt as to Professor Cox’s geek status – the man works at the LHC, which is pretty much geek central. As to whether he’s effeminate or not, well admittedly he is the other straight man on my list, but I refer you to this excerpt from the Horizon time documentary, where he basically flirts with the (male) director – ‘Not that I’m saying your hair is grey…’.
Anyway, effeminate or not, and even with his slightly buck teeth, he is, as far as I’m concerned, decidedly easy on the eye:
For some reason, I’ve always tended to find the bass player the sexiest member of a standard band setup. I don’t really know why that should be – drummers usually have better bodies – but it holds true in lots of cases. Of course, when the guy in question is as attractive as Mr Olsdal, I’d be pretty much sold, whatever instrument he was playing.
But Stefan is also a very good demonstration of the weirdness of my taste in men (he said, quoting a Placebo song…). When he was younger, he was really very pretty,
but, for my money, he’s about a hundred times more attractive now that he’s older:
Let’s put it this way, I certainly wouldn’t kick him out of bed for stealing the duvet…
Well, that’s that then. If anyone else feels like putting together a similar list, whether it’s of guys, or girls, or both, I’d be very interested to get the chance to perve all over again see what floats your boat.