Weird crushes

Oh look, Aethelread’s doing a post that isn’t full of self-indulgent navel-gazing, or pseudo-intellectual nonsense.  Hurrah!

On the down side, this is a post that is perhaps unlikely to appeal to my straight male and gay female readers.  Or at least, only in a ‘that guy’s really weird’ kind of way.  Which is, to be honest, probably what you all think already, anyway.

Ahem.

First things first, I want to doff my virtual hat to Cellar Door from the Not Another Student Nurse blog, whose idea I’m totally ripping off for this post.  They say imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, in which case she should be feeling pretty bloody flattered about now.  Second things second, you should only persevere with this post if you are prepared to cope with the full horror of looking at pictures of guys I think are attractive, some of who aren’t wearing very much.  You have been warned…

I guess I would have to say that, from the neck down, this guy has pretty much the perfect body,

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and, facially, they don’t come much prettier than this,

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but there’s no getting away from the fact that, personally speaking, I find guys like this way more attractive:

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In fact, this guy is pretty much my ideal man – a slightly effeminate geek.

Anyway, I ask you to bear that in mind as I present to you my run-down of guys that are perhaps not conventionally good looking, but in my eyes are all the more attractive because of it.

First up, at No. 5, it’s Cuban-American actor Guillermo Diaz:

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Guillermo Diaz is in one way extremely annoying – it’s impossible to track down a good photo of him.  Partly that’s because he shares his name with a basketball player, which means that every time you think you’ve tracked down a decent size pic of him, it turns out to be of the wrong Guillermo Diaz.  (There’s actually four ‘famous’ Guillermo Diazs altogether, but the other two don’t seem to have their photo taken all that often.)  But the other reason is that he’s one of those people who just doesn’t look good in photos.

In every other way, he’s pretty much perfect.  When he’s in full swing acting away (I especially recommend Just One Time and I Think I Do, but only if you’re a fan of mindless froth) he’s pretty much irresistible.  Even if he does seem to have an unusually long and pointy tongue…

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Next, at No. 4, it’s Mike Skinner (aka that bloke who calls himself The Streets):

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Mr Skinner is one of only two straight guys on my list – that’s not a deliberate policy, but it would seem that I do tend to get crushes on gay guys more easily than I do straight guys.  I know that I could be accused of only fancying him as a bit of rough, but really it’s not like that.  In fact, it’s pretty much the opposite – I think of him more as a vulnerable little lamb who needs protecting than I do a rough-and-ready fuck-buddy.  I mean, look at those eyes,

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who could resist those eyes…?

…sorry…where was I?  Ah, yes, of course…

 

At No. 3 it’s the actor Russell Tovey who, unlike Mike Skinner, is someone even the most middle class person would feel comfortable taking home to meet their parents.

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Russell Tovey’s big break was his appearance in The History Boys, but if I’m honest, the first thing I saw him in was the second series of Annually Retentive, where he played a gay person that the lead character (an alt-version of Rob Brydon) was simultaneously attracted to and repelled by.  Most of his scenes were semi-improvised, and in the sections where he’s trying not to crack-up at something Rob Brydon’s said he’s almost unbearably cute.  Some kind person has uploaded his entire storyline in 15 parts to YouTube, starting here, so you can check it out if you want to.  Even if you’re not a fan of male cuteness, you might think it’s worth watching for the fact that it’s quite funny, in a Curb Your Enthusiasm/ The Office kind of a way.

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(BTW, Mr Tovey can currently be seen getting his kit off on a fairly regular basis in the comedy drama Being Human on BBC3…)

 

Ok, so, it’s time to move on to my No. 2, Professor Brian Cox.

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Brian Cox is a professor of physics at Manchester University, although he works at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN.  He also presents physics programmes on the BBC, most recently a Horizon documentary exploring the nature of time.  He featured fairly heavily in the media last year, talking about the LHC, and why we shouldn’t worry about it causing the end of the world.

At this point in any profile of Brian Cox, it’s against the law not to mention that he’s also a former member of the 1990s dance-pop band D:Ream.  As far as I can tell he wasn’t actually in the band when they were having their hits – certainly there doesn’t seem to be any video or photographic evidence of it.  Given the rather unfortunate New Labour connection (the footage of Neil Kinnock and John Prescott trying to dance to ‘Things Can Only Get Better’ has scarred me for life…) that’s probably no bad thing.

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Away back near the start of this perve-fest, I said that my ideal man would be a slightly effeminate geek.  I don’t think there can be any doubt as to Professor Cox’s geek status – the man works at the LHC, which is pretty much geek central.  As to whether he’s effeminate or not, well admittedly he is the other straight man on my list, but I refer you to this excerpt from the Horizon time documentary, where he basically flirts with the (male) director – ‘Not that I’m saying your hair is grey…’.

Anyway, effeminate or not, and even with his slightly buck teeth, he is, as far as I’m concerned, decidedly easy on the eye:

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But, even so, Professor Cox has been nothing but a prelude to my top-of-the-weird-crush-pops.  Yes, that’s right, at No. 1 it’s Stefan Olsdal, the bass player in the band Placebo.

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For some reason, I’ve always tended to find the bass player the sexiest member of a standard band setup.  I don’t really know why that should be – drummers usually have better bodies – but it holds true in lots of cases.  Of course, when the guy in question is as attractive as Mr Olsdal, I’d be pretty much sold, whatever instrument he was playing.

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But Stefan is also a very good demonstration of the weirdness of my taste in men (he said, quoting a Placebo song…).  When he was younger, he was really very pretty,

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but, for my money, he’s about a hundred times more attractive now that he’s older:

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Let’s put it this way, I certainly wouldn’t kick him out of bed for stealing the duvet…

Well, that’s that then.  If anyone else feels like putting together a similar list, whether it’s of guys, or girls, or both, I’d be very interested to get the chance to perve all over again see what floats your boat.

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19 Responses to Weird crushes

  1. Heath Ledger as the Joker is painfully sexy.

  2. cellar_door says:

    I am very flattered :o)

    Yay to weird crushes! How dull would life be if we all liked the same thing…I have a similar liking for bassists. Particularly Mike Dirnt ( http://consequenceofsound.net/wp-content/uploads/2008/04/green-day-american-idiot1.jpg on the right…phwoar).

    That first pic actually turns my stomach a bit…too smooth! Ken dolls need not apply….

    I may have to return the flattery and do a top 5 now…

  3. Mandy says:

    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder..and I think that is pretty kushti.

    Our tastes are very different. Although that chap from The Streets has a cheeky chappy charm about him.

    My first crush was Mr Spock from Star Trek. Don’t ask..I gave up asking myself why yonks ago.

    I thought Mark Bolan was awesome because there was something feminine about him and he was still all man.

    KD Lang has something very masculine about her and I find that sexy although masculine women usually spook me.

    Johnny Borrell cos he is an arse with a big gob and I can associate with that but he has the most amazing chest and geeky school boy face (which tends to do it for me …in real life)

    Kurt Cobain was demi God in my book…ticked all the boxes and I couldn’t fall for anyone who was less screwed up than me …it wouldn’t be right at all x

  4. Georgia says:

    only gonna mention my really embarrassing one. which i only discovered recently, and i have no idea WHY i like him, but i do

    tommy walsh.

    there, i’ve said it, wasnt as hard as i thought it was gonna be, lol :D

  5. cellar_door says:

    Oh, yes! Agreeing with Seaneen and the Joker thing. So wrong but so right…

  6. Cellar Door, check out this:

    Holy. Hell.

  7. abysmalmusings says:

    Can I put in a vote for Peter O’Toole as Lawrence of Arabia? pic

    P.S. I still don’t understand what human action requires huge pecs – throwing spears? Never seen a strong/fit workman looking like that. Where does that body-image come from?

    P.P.S. Yes, I am straight, but it doesn’t stop me having an aesthetic opinion! :-)

  8. abysmalmusings says:

    ppps – pecs – they must be all to do with the warrior physique – just been working out the various motions they effect – stabbing, throwing, punching, etc. Not the building side of things. Hmmmm. I think I need to get out more.

  9. abysmalmusings says:

    Oh yes, and unobtainable women? Irene Papas. Maria Falconetti. Nina Simone.

  10. haha!

    I fancied Brian Cox too!

    I’m also a fan of Russell Tovey – or pretty much any of the History Boys cast really.. but don’t really fancy him.

    As for Stefan.. he is quite cute and my ex fancied him too. heh. I do like bass players as well, although really I’m not fussy on instrument!

  11. aethelreadtheunread says:

    Thanks for all the comments. I have to say, i think that’s the shortest period of time in which i’ve got so may comments. It looks as though i’ve found my readers’ level… ;o) Great, it’s the same as mine! :o)

    Pole to Polar &c. – Sorry your second comment took a while to appear – i think wordpress’ spam filter got over-excited because of the youtube link.

    I haven’t seen Batman (given that i’m such a wuss that i sometimes find Dr Who too scary, it didn’t seem like a great idea…). I wonder, does Heath Ledger’s attractiveness at The Joker come down to charisma? Or do you just have a thing for guys in white make-up…? ;o)

    cellar_door – Mike Dirnt… hmmm. I’m not a fan of the dyed hair – he looks like he’s trying too hard to pretend that he’s younger than he is. And Green Day have always seemed rather cartoonish to me, which inclines me more towards a response of ‘awww, sweet’ than ‘phwoarr’. But there’s no question the man knows how to assume a good provocative stance. I mean, look at where the star on his bass is positioned in the pic you link to… ;o)

    Ah, the whole smooth/hairy debate. Personally, i’d say some strategically placed hair here and there is a neccesary thing, but i prefer it to look trimmed and well-groomed. I’m certainly not a fan, personally, of the 70s ‘natural’ look. But that’s just me, mind. :o) I agree, though, the guy in the first pic is rather a hairless wonder – i’m starting to regret saying he had a perfect body now…

    Mandy – Mr Spock… i can honestly say i’ve never thought about him in ‘that way’. :o) Now, Mr Sulu, in the episode ‘Mirror, Mirror’, when he walks round the Enterprise topless with a sword – well, that’s a different matter entirely… ( http://cinefantastiqueonline.com/wp-content/sulu-wiht-sword.jpg )

    Marc Bolan was a little too feminine for my taste. I don’t mind effeminate guys at all – i tend to find them attractive, truth be told – but i don’t like them to look like they’re trying to be feminine, if that makes any sense?

    Johnny Borrell is a provocative little minx, isn’t he? I’m a definite fan of his habit of wearing jeans that are a couple of sizes too small for him, and are nothing like big enough to cover his…er…’modesty’ at the rear… ;o)

    Georgia – Tommy Walsh, not a personal favourite, but i can see where you’re coming from. So to speak… ;o)

    abysmalmusings – aesthetic nominations from straight guys are very welcome :o) Peter O’Toole is another one of those people who got better looking as he got older, i think. But i can see the appeal in long flowing robes, and since the real Lawrence of Arabia was of a distinctly gay persuasion, it seems only fitting that he’s included somehow or other. :o)

    I’m not sure how much the fashion for pecs goes back to warrior culture, and how much of it is just to do with the fact that, like biceps and abs, they’re muscles that can be easily put on display, and that show they’ve been worked on even when they’re at rest. For the record, the guy in the first pic (i’m really backing away from him now, aren’t i?) has pecs that are slightly too big, i think. Or maybe just too rounded, or something. I’m sure i remember reading somewhere that enlarged pecs and nipples are a side-effect of using steroids, so maybe that’s why they seem to feature quite often in ‘gym-bunny’ physique.

    My nominations for unobtainable women would be Natalie Imbruglia and Eva Longoria Parker, by the way… ;o)

    intothesystem – what can i say, you have great taste! :o) And, you’re right, i’m not too fussed what instrument Stefan Olsdal has in his hands either… ;o)

  12. cellar_door says:

    A – I think the stance has a lot to do with it ;o) I’m not a fan of hugely hairy either, but a little bit to run my fingers through is nice!

    Seaneen – that video is fantastic. I have goosebumps…

  13. loopykate says:

    Just realisd I’m a bit late to the perv party. Ah well, never mind. That was a great post. As someone with a pretty plastic and indeterminate sexuality (i.e. an omnivorous old slapper) I appreciated yours and everyone elses contributions.
    I’m struggling a little over Professor Cox’s teeth mind.
    You’ve made me want to go and seek out some eye candy for myself and do one of these (although I’m not sure I’ll have the balls to post it).
    Thanks for the oggle.
    K.x

  14. dannynell says:

    [This comment has been edited by Aethelread to remove a potentially libellous statement.]

    Hot or wot, Mike Skinner in January 09, put these on your page buddy and give us all a treat..

  15. beetrootsoup says:

    Hmmm. I had to, truthfully avert my eyes from most of your Top Hundred Hotties, as I have been suffering very painfully from sexual frustration lately. Something weird happens to women of my age, especially if they have had some of the experiences that I have detailed and drawn a veil over in my blog. (I’m 46, by the way). I am very highly sexed, and it becomes much worse when I’m manic, as I am at the moment. Well, hypo anyway. And there is this phenomenon of hypersexuality that is a recognised symptom of manic depression. Seaneen would know what I’m talking about.

    Anyway, nuff said. Except that, weirdly, I totally share your taste, A. What can this mean? Are the hottest men really all gay? Frankly I have my suspicions about that one, Robbie Williams! My faithful partner Richard is no oil painting. Aesthetically he leaves a lot to be desired. But we women are simply not as bothered by the visual aspect as men are. It’s more about how he is with us, and what he does for us. How his hands feel on our body, whether he’s kind and gentle, if he has a feminine side to speak of.

    And ‘I am fascinated by the spiritual man…I’m humbled by his humble nature’. A line from Alanis Morissette, who takes a lot of slagging but some of her early stuff was OK.

    Thanks for posting as always A. You are tops. Love, Zoe.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  16. aethelreadtheunread says:

    Thanks for the extra comments.

    cellar_door – yeah, the stance does suggest the whole confidence/ arrogance thing, which can work very well for some people. :o) BTW, when i was logging into hotmail earlier, i saw that Green Day are apparently due to release a new album this year. Might provide you with some oggling opportunities… ;o)

    loopykate – glad to be of service. ;o) I hope you do post – but, of course, that’s entirely up to you. :o)

    dannynell – i’m really sorry for editing your comment, and it was probably a bit paranoid of me, but i really don’t want to find the blog being sued. If you want to re-submit your comment with a few extra words (something like ‘i always thought’, or something like that) that makes it obvious what you’re saying is a personal opinion and not a statement of fact, then i’d be happy to let it appear.

    Thanks for the links to the pictures, anyway. A topless Mike Skinner is something i’ll always be happy to look at… ;o)

    beetroot soup – sorry if the pics in the post have made your life more difficult than it needed to be. I really did just mean it as a bit of harmless fun, but i know it might not be quite so harmless for everyone.

    To stand up for men (oo-er missus…), i think there are plenty of guys who aren’t bothered by visual aesthetics, especially when it comes to choosing a partner. Maybe the difference is that men are more likely to make a distinction between thinking someone is nice to look at, and thinking that they want to settle down with them. Or maybe that’s just me. Certainly (and without wanting to be mean…) most of my long-term relationships haven’t been with people who are likely to get called stunning… ;o)

  17. Hmmm Mike Skinner looks like Matt Goss when Bros were big.

    Brian Cox is indeed cute, he obviously is no stranger to the free weights area in the gym either….

  18. Pingback: My life in crushes « Aethelread the Unread

  19. Çocuque says:

    I don’t want to be cruel or offensive… but you have a pretty bad taste choosing hot guys… none of them ( with the exception of the 1st pic) are hot.

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