Four things

Thing the first – Nanny McPhee (which I watched yesterday on ITV2) is a nearly brilliant film.  It’s pretty much perfect up until the last 20-25 minutes, at which point it starts descending into out-and-out silliness, and finally resolves itself in an orgy of saccharine sentimentality.  I don’t mind that it has a happy ending – in my current state of mind, I’m positively craving happy endings – but it would have been possible to do it in a much less ‘Hollywood’ way.  But, still, it is good, and it’s a positive ‘who’s who’ of British acting talent – Emma Thompson, Imelda Staunton, Patrick Barlow, Celia Imrie, Derek Jacobi – and British ‘can’t act for toffee, but still fun to watch’ talent – Colin Firth,  Angela Lansbury.  Oh, and, yes, I know it’s a kids’ film.  I don’t care, I still think it’s nearly brilliant.

Thing the second – there is a definite seasonal element to my mood.  At the moment, I am without exception experiencing desperate, can’t-bear-to-sit-still, depression if it’s a crap day, and feeling noticeably better if it’s a nice day.  The link couldn’t be more obvious.  I’m not sure what to do about it – aren’t there supposed to be special light bulbs you can buy? – but in any case, I always feel a little better for understanding a little more about why I feel the way I do, so that’s good.  If I was religious (which I’m not), I’d be praying for a sunny day on the 25th.  This is because of:

Thing the third – I phoned up my sister, ostensibly for a bit of a chat, but actually to find out what the chances of me being able to bunk off christmas were, if I’m having a ‘desperate, can’t bear to sit still’ day.  The answer?  She basically sobbed down the phone, said that this was going to be a really sad christmas because it’s without our mum, and that she doesn’t really care about anything else, but what matters to her is that I’m there.  So, that’ll be absolutely bugger-all chance of bunking off, then.  She ended the conversation by hoping that she wasn’t putting pressure on me.  Pressure?  As if…  (To be fair, she’s not trying to put pressure on me, and I am basically pleased she told me how she feels – it makes me feel like I’m fulfilling a little bit of my brotherly responsibilities.  Anyway, I think I managed to cheer her up a little.  Shame I can’t do the same for myself, really…)

Thing the fourth – despite all the above moaning and whingeing, I continue to be not having a major crisis.  I won’t lie, I’m not enjoying life at the moment, and on a scale of one to ten, the horribleness of things would probably rate a high seven.  But I am holding it together.  And, so far, I’m doing a lot better than last year.  I have sent cards to most of the people I ought to have done (I didn’t manage to send out any last year), and I’ve also sent presents to those members of the family that I definitely won’t be seeing at christmas.  I even know what I want to buy for the people I will (in theory, at least) be seeing, but I have to venture into town to get those things, and I’m not certain if I’ll be up for that.

But, as I say, things could be a whole lot worse.  So hurrah that they’re not.  :o)

This entry was posted in About me, Depression, Stuff I've watched. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Four things

  1. oh dear, cards. Yes, I should think about sending those…

  2. Mandy says:

    Hi A

    Glad you posted…..:>)

    Nanny McPhee. I loved that film. Em and me watched it after she had a minor (but still rather horrid) operation and she was recouperating. We snugged up on the sofa and howled and laughed and were all fluffy afterwards.

    Sorry you can’t bunk off Crimbo. I am feeling a Catch 22 situation myself. I can’t bare the thought of Dad and me together….both feeling wretched but in some sort of loyalty pact to get through it but I can’t bare the thought of Dad on his own and even more lonely and miserable. Going for the record of how many lozees I can take in one day and still remain upright.

    Glad you are in a better place than you could be and hope you maintain the levels you need.

    Night mate

  3. cb says:

    I was thinking about the pressures we have to be doing things we really would prefer not to and am quite glad I’ve been able to withdraw from family festivities at my sister’s. It is lovely when I go but far more stressful than staying at home and doing my own thing.
    Glad things aren’t too bad for you. Hope things stay that way.

  4. The Chuckle says:

    Hi A, well done for not sticking too rigidly to the blog hol :D
    Glad you’re not in a major crash and able to enjoy the delights of Nanny McPhee (I didn’t mean that how it sounds!) – it’s a film I’ve had out of the video shop 3 times and never managed to watch yet – maybe 4th time lucky?
    Xmas family situations – hope the get together doesn’t stress you too much, I’m very lucky that 250 miles works as an excuse to not see family over Xmas – it never works out well, bless em.
    Have a good xmas/new year in case u don’t post b4 then!

  5. aethelreadtheunread says:

    Thanks for the comments.

    DD R – Nah, just send emails instead, and say you’re doing it to try and cut down on your carbon footprint (who says global warming isn’t useful for something…?) ;o)

    Mandy – The situation you are in with your dad is quite like the one i was in with my mum over the last 4 to 5 years (although we had always got on quite well, so not identical), so I can really sympathise with you. I hope you make it through ok – I’m sure sage, onion and Lorazepam will make a great new flavour for turkey stuffing… ;o)

    cb – yes, i find myself spending quite a lot of time thinking ‘why can’t i just do what I want to do’ too.

    The Chuckle – Enjoying the delights of Nanny McPhee? Who do you think I am, Jude Law…? ;o) Hope you find the time to watch the film at some point anyway – it’s worth it. As for christmas, well, the several hundred miles thing has worked for me in the past, but unfortunately this time they’re renting a holiday let that’s only about 30 miles away from me. So, bang goes that excuse.

    But i am, of course, lucky to have family that care about me, and are only about 35% infuriating… ;o)

  6. cellar_door says:

    Hurrah for an absence of crisis! (Maybe they should do greetings cards with that on?)



  7. Good luck over Christmas. I hope it goes well for you and you manage to get through it.

    I’m glad you’re managing at the moment. Take care xx

  8. Alex says:

    Great to see you posting again. Merry Christmas. :)

Comments are closed.