Sorry things have been a little quiet round here for the last few days, but I’m afraid they’re likely to stay quiet for a little while longer. I’ve decided to take a holiday from blogging, and there will be either very much fewer posts, or even none at all, over the next little while. I have a few reasons for this.
To start with, I’m finding it hard to think of things to write about. Whenever I have thought of something, I’ve found it almost impossible to chase it down to a conclusion, or to write in the way that I want to write – I was working on a post about the impending benefit reforms last week, but I abandoned it when I went back to it after a few hours and realised that it was just a mess of paranoid, aggressive ranting. I know there are people who think the blogosphere (and the internet in general) were invented expressly for aggressive and paranoid rants, but personally I always try to avoid posting unless I have something I hope is interesting/ worthwhile/ useful/ amusing to say.
(If I’m honest, I think my last couple of posts have skated very close to the edge of that, anyway – there were a few times when I was really just a hair’s breadth away from saying ‘these are the reasons I don’t like heterosexuals.’ What makes it especially weird is that I really don’t dislike heterosexuals, but I was feeling ‘got at’ by ‘someone’ (not cellar_door, if she’s worried, or anyone else who commented, for that matter), and so I reacted rather aggressively. Although I hope I did a reasonable job keeping a lot of that out of the published versions of the posts.)
Another reason for taking a break is that I am struggling at the moment. I’m not having a major crisis, and there is absolutely no need for anyone to worry, but I am finding that the anxiety I always feel about blogging is getting really extreme, and so I need to take a step back. It’s not so much that my anxiety is focussed on the blog in particular as it is a recognition of the fact that at a time when everything is getting a lot more difficult, I have to concentrate on the essentials. At the moment it’s taking all my psychological energy to get myself out to the shops regularly and to battle the tide of (not real, but seemingly real) things that are threatening to overwhelm me.
As I say, I’m not having a major crisis, and in fact this action is designed to help prevent one taking place. Perhaps we can think of it as a form of MH-related hibernation…
To be honest, I don’t know how long I’ll be away from blogging for. I’m not going to be making this an absolute ban, so if I have something to say, and I feel like saying it, a new post might go up at any time. But I also wouldn’t be surprised if it was mid-January before there was a fresh post. Truthfully, I don’t really know how this is going to pan out, but I do think lengthy gaps between posts are going to be fairly likely, and that’s why I’m letting you know. I know that a sudden, unexplained silence from a blogger can be worrying, and I wanted to avoid that, at least. Although I have now done that in a way that will make me look like an OTT drama queen if it turns out that there’s a new, happy post here every day from now until the end of the world…
Anyway, that’s it for now. If I’m not back before christmas/ new year, I hope you all have a pleasant festive season, whatever it is you’re doing, and I’ll see you whenever I see you, but certainly in no more than a few weeks at the outside.