Please can you turn down the sun? We’re all turning down our central heating to prevent global warming, so it seems only fair that you play along. Also, being too hot is making my skin all itchy. Also, the brightness hurts my eyes. Also, all my clothes are the wrong colour.
I am prepared to compromise though. Give me a 6-pack, pecs to die for, and a lifetime’s supply of zero-calorie ice-cream and I’ll stop whining about the heat. Deal?
… er … hello? Are you even listening?
Ooh, now that’s just rude!
On an unrelated note, some of you may have spotted that I’ve put a creative commons logo in my sidebar. If I’ve got the right licence, this should mean that you are free to do whatever the hell you like with my posts, so long as you toss in a casual reference to my blog as the source, and so long as you don’t try to make your first million using an idea of mine. Oh, and you have to insist that no-one else does either. I certainly hope that’s all it means – I don’t want to inhibit any of the usual easy-come-easy-go interaction of the blogosphere I enjoy so much.
Of course, what it might mean is that I’m a paranoid control freak with grandiose delusions:
Patient believes unspecified individuals are attempting to steal his words.
Patient displays a strong desire to control every aspect of his interaction with the wider world, and becomes agitated and aggressive in pursuit of this goal.
Patient believes his words are commercially valuable, despite a complete lack of evidence to support this belief.