Oh great, just what the world needs. Another whiny blog by some tedious mental health casualty who thinks a psychiatric diagnosis gives him the right to whinge louder and longer than anyone else. Get a life, why don’t you, Loser?
Is the statement above an accurate summary of your views? If so, then I would respectfully suggest that this is unlikely to be the blog for you. Please leave quietly, and try not to let the door slam on your way out – it disturbs the neighbours.
Now, any questions from the floor?
So what’s this psychiatric diagnosis you were going on about?
I have a diagnosis of Recurrent Depressive Disorder, although I have some doubts about it – I’ll probably blog about them at some point.
If you ever want to wind me up, ask me, “Is depression that thing where you feel a bit down, but then you have some ice cream and feel better?”
Who are you?
Well, for the purposes of this I’m calling myself Aethelred (see below), although that’s not my real name (No! Really?…)
I live in the UK, somewhere to the west of the prime meridian. So that could mean anywhere from Penzance to Thurso, or from Milford Haven to New Cross, although, actually, it’s none of these.
I’m in my thirties. I’m single. I’m currently a dole scrounger.
You might describe me as: a friend of Dorothy’s; an iron; a faggot; an uphill gardener; an arse-bandit; an ass-pirate; a shirt-lifter; a shit-stabber; a pole-smoker; a cocksucker; a wearer of the pink triangle; a Uranian; a Dweller in the House of Sodom. You could even call me gay, but then you might tie yourself up in knots explaining that you didn’t mean “gay-as-happy”, but you didn’t mean “gay-as-a-bad-thing” either.
Me? I tend to call myself a poof.
What’s with the name?
Aethelred (pronounced “ethel red”, if you were wondering) was a king of England during the late 10th and early 11th centuries. He’s often called ‘Aethelred the Unready’, so the title of this blog is a pretty obvious pun – let’s just say I don’t anticipate a readership of thousands. I was slightly disappointed to realise I wasn’t the first person to think of the name – see here, for example.
The dodgy pun was my only reason for choosing the title, but then I found out that the original Aethelred was called ‘Unready’ because people thought his behaviour was often ill-advised and indecisive. Wow. It’s almost like they know me.
You can find out more about Aethelred at wikipedia, although I can’t immediately think of a good reason why you’d want to.
What’s this blog going to be about?
Well, I haven’t started writing it yet, so I don’t really know.
Some of the entries will certainly be about depression / mental heath issues – I have some topics in mind that I’d like to write about. But there’s more to life than ill-health, and I’d like to write about other things that grab my attention too. There might even be jokes.
If you like blogs that tell you about the minutest details of someone’s life then you may be disappointed with this one – it seems highly unlikely that I’ll ever tell you what I had for breakfast, for example. But I will be basing this on my own experiences, and I don’t intend to censor anything that might be relevant, so hopefully that will keep things reasonably interesting.
I’d like to offer a Solemn Undertaking.
I hereby swear that I shall never use this blog to express my feelings by means of poetry, painting, interpretative dance or any other of the expressive arts.
Torture by amateur artistry should be, as we all know, outlawed under the Geneva Convention. I am pleased to confirm you will always be safe from it here.